10 posts tagged “family”
I guess I'll start off with the not so great parts of this week.
My dad went to his pulmonary doctor last week and had some x-rays done that revealed he may have a nodule on his lung. He has to go back this week to see what is really going on. I'm definitely worried about this because he was a smoker for years. I did some research on nodules they are usually not cancer but can be an early sign. Whatever they saw is fairly new because he had chest x-rays in August 07 and it wasn't present. All i can do is pray. What is meant to be will be - right.
I also found out this week that my mom may have to retire after this school year. Not the best news but maybe its time for her to get some rest.
I've been doing pretty good. I managed to lose 3 more pounds this week even though I wasn't really following my diet. I also bought a Gazelle Sprintmaster which I love to pieces. I've already used it more in the past week than I used my stationary bike in 3 years.
I have a pretty balanced workout routine in mind that I'm going to start in June. The only problem is strength training. I don't really have the right equipment for a good routine. I want some bowflex dumbbells but I can't afford them so it looks like I'll be making my own dumbbells and maybe using bricks when they get to light.
I had A strange dream this morning that the pastor of the church I use to go to when I was a child came over my house for dinner and told me that I need to join my parents church and start a puppet ministry for kids. Puppets - all I can think of is Luanne on King of the Hill with those darn manger babies. I doubt that this is something that I'll do.
I'm trying to take small steps towards my future. I'm really focused on losing weight and getting my etsy shop up and running. Then I'll focus on paying off debts and getting job ( if my mom retires). Followed by getting my drivers license, finding a church and getting a dog. Every day I'm trying to lay the foundation to a better tomorrow.
The past few weeks have been pretty average. Cooking, cleaning and other fun chores. I’m disappointed that I didn’t get a lot of “extra” stuff done this week. My dad had the week off from rehab but I didn’t capitalize on this extra time. I hope rehab helps him with his swallowing problems. The coughing and gagging is just too much sometimes. It is extremely scary and pretty gross. Whenever he has coughing attacks it makes my heart race like crazy. The frequent intense shots of adrenaline have made me extremely nervous during dinner time.
I still feel like I”m in a rut but I’m trying to re frame my daily routine so that it includes more uplifting, future driven activities.
Last weekend we got our house painted and I love it. The new shade of green is bright and welcoming. It reminds me mint chocolate chip ice cream.
I own an obscene amount of books which really need to be organized and put away. I haven’t been selling much on etsy because I need to sort my books so I can see what needs to stay or go. Hopefully I’ll get that done this week. I really thought that i would be finish with this by now but I haven’t even started yet.
I love how pretty it is in the spring but I hate allergies. My nose has been giving me all types of problems. From being a snotty mess to bleeding for no reason. It has been a massive pain.
My dad had a birthday on Monday. I bought him some clothes and a cake. The cake was really good. We get another yummy cake next week for my mom’s birthday. I still haven’t decided what day to celebrate on because she works that day.
I’ve been busting my butt doing things that are apart of daily responsibilities. I feel like I’ve been focusing so much on everyday stuff that I’ve lost focus of working towards my long term goals. I’ve made a lot of progress as a person in the past few years but it feels like everything had slowed down over the last year or so. I really need to put more effort into me.
Even losing weight seems to be going super slow. One problem is I really haven’t started exercising regularly but I have changed my diet enough that its making a difference. I have a pair of pants that I couldn’t even fit that fit now and even have extra room. Other people can see a difference and have commented but I don’t see it yet. I really need to start getting serious about working out. I’ve had a lot of problems with my knees lately. They get stiff and you can hear fluid in them. One day my mom was sitting on the floor and laid her head on my leg and it sounded like the ocean. I can hear it to when I walk a lot or walk up steps. I hate the sound it seriously makes me cringe. I’ve also been having problems with my left hand and arm. I think I have a pinched nerve from moving my dad and helping him up. I need to find better transport methods that don’t hurt me. I have been doing some arm exercises and It doesn’t feel as numb or hurt as much as it did
I’m so happy we finally got our phone fixed today after having it out for an entire week. When we got the new edition to the house the contractor hacked some of the phone wires that didn’t work in the kitchen and all of sudden after more than three months the cut wires disabled all of phone service. The lack of a phone caused a lot of unnecessary drama so I’m glad that it has been resolved.
I’ve been working on a business plan of sort and getting my room cleaned and craft supplies organized so that I can work towards getting some of bills paid off so that I can go back to school next year. This year I’m going to put my energy into shedding some physical weight and financial weight as well.
My mom cracks me up sometimes. This weekend I was at the store and I called her to find out what she wanted me to buy. So she told me to get some fish. I committed that it will be warm outside soon so we can start grilling outside. She responded by saying no we can’t grow fish in the garden because it will attract all the stray cats. Grow fish? Oohh my. I think this new garden is going to be more challenging than I previously thought.
In other homemaking news I’m super excited to be getting a new lawnmower this year. Three cheers for cordless electric models. I haven’t decided on which brand I want yet. I’m leaning towards a neutron but I’m not sure yet. I need to do some more research. I seriously love cutting the grass and shoveling snow.
I should have gotten up early today like I always do on Saturdays. I like getting to the thrift store right when they open on Saturdays but today I was being slooooow and sleepy. Now there are people here working in the house and I haven't even showered and dressed I feel like a stinky bum. I'm trying to pick a good time to jet to the bathroom so that I can get ready. I hate being around strange people especially when they are in my house and I'm funky and haggard looking.
Things have been moving along. My dad is back in rehab for speech, occupational and physical needs. We will be going three times a week. FUN FUN.
UGGH. I'm super annoyed by the construction work in my house. I haven't been able to wash clothes for almost a month now and the dirties are really piling up. My mom is a terrible snorer which makesher having to sleep with me a little unpleasant. As annoyed as I am by the work I'm more upset that my dad has been sleeping in a chair all this time and that his walking skills have really digressed over this time. The whole situation is starting to wear thin.
I really need to get back on the ball with my Etsy shop. I haven't listed anything in almost two months and I only sold one book in November. I'm tired of the whole book destash. I really want to start selling things that I make but in order for that to happen I need to get my room clean and organize my supplies and I've been really slacking on this mission. I'm really going to try really hard to get this little project done by December 1st.
Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one worried about things. I can't take on the responsibility for problems I didn't create. I have enough self made messes that I need to clean up. I just feel so restless, scared, concerned and worried about everything that has happened to me and around me in the last 3 years or so. Sometimes it seems like the heartache and pain will never go away. Something bad happens and when things start to look like they are turning around something even worse happens.
Passion, Love and God is my refuge. I just need to summon the strength to find the shelter I need.
I'm happy I reached my monthly sales goal for my Etsy Shop. I hope that my handmade items will be as successful as the vintage book market.
I'm doing fine. A little worried about family circumstances. A little frustrated with how irresponsible my parents can be at times. I wish I were a kid again. Hmm not again actually for the first time since I missed out on my childhood. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on being a young adult to but thats the way the cookie crumbles. I don't mind caring for my father I'm just frustrated with myself. I wish I could solve all the problems my family has but I can't and it makes me feel weak and inadequate. I do a lot but I wish I could do more. What I have to give isn't enough. I'll just pray harder and love stronger. Things may be beyond my realm of control but God can handle it all.
Things have been moving right along. I'm just so thankful to have my father around he turned 80 years old on Saturday. It's been a challenge taking care of him but honestly all I want is for him to get stronger and to live a happy fulfilled life. I'm really trying to take this as an opportunity to grow as a person and conquer some of my own personal issues. I really believe that the Lord doesn't put anything in our life that we can't handle. Every problem can be solved with prayer and determination.
I need to start focusing on making things for my Etsy Shop and losing weight. I really need to start exercising because I move my father often and I don't want to get any injuries or for my muscles to just get worn out. The first step is to get some spring cleaning done then start myself on a regular work and exercise schedule. I'm not going to be able to work for a while since I'm taking care of my father so I'm going to try to turn my Etsy shop into a forty hour a week job for me. My yarn stash must be reorganized so that I have my personal stash separate from the yarn I use for my shop.
I'm going to embrace the positive and not even entertain the notion that negativity exists.
Wow it's been a long time since I've posted on here. I'm going to make this my personal blog and use my vox one just for knitting. My dad is doing a lot better now. He can move his right leg some and he was in very good spirits today which made my mother and I feel really good.
The weather is great I'm in awe. It makes me feel alive.Hopefully this change of seasons will bring a change in my soul as well.
I finally learned how to knit on double pointed needles. Picture will be arriving soon.
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